Stop using the word "Should" and take back control

How often do you find yourself saying, "I should be in better shape" or "I should be working out more"? That one little word—should—carries a heavy weight. It makes us feel like failures when we don’t measure up to some arbitrary standard, and it strips us of the power to make real, lasting changes.

How "Should" Takes Away Your Power

“I should be further along.”

This statement doesn’t motivate us; it only makes us feel broken and stuck. Instead of helping us move forward, should keeps us trapped in frustration and guilt.

“I should work out six days a week.”“I should eat better.”

These are great ideals, but what happens if life gets in the way? Too often, when we feel like we should do something but don’t follow through, we end up doing nothing at all.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Stop SHOULDING yourself."

When we focus on what should be happening, we ignore what we actually can do.

The Power of "Could"

Instead of saying should, try saying could.

• "I could be in better shape. What’s one small step I can take today?"

• "I could work out more often. What’s a realistic schedule that fits my life?"

When we replace should with could, we reframe our goals as choices instead of obligations. This shift in language gives us control. It reminds us that we always have options, and it empowers us to take steps that feel achievable rather than overwhelming.

Three Steps to Take Back Control Today

1. Question the "Should" – Ask yourself, Why should I do this? Is it because you genuinely want to, or because you feel pressured by external expectations?

2. Reframe It as "Could" – Change your statement to I could do this and explore what that looks like in reality. Does it feel empowering instead of burdensome?

3. Take One Small Action – Instead of focusing on what you should be doing perfectly, choose one thing you could do today that moves you forward.

When we stop “shoulding” ourselves, we shift from frustration to action. We stop feeling like failures and start feeling in control. And when we feel in control, we’re far more likely to stay consistent and build the habits that lead to real progress.

So today, replace the word should each time you hear yourself say it and embrace the could.